5 Reasons your 2023 goals might fail
The beginning of the year is a great time for goal setting but how do you now you are on the right track? Continue reading to learn about the 5 common goal-setting pitfalls and how to fix them so that you get where you want to go this year.
1 YOUR GOAL IS TOO SAFE OR TOO MUCH
To learn and grow, we must be challenged. However, there is a sweet spot we have to find in our goal setting. The Learning Zones are a great tool for making sure you have just the right amount of challenge to feel motivated towards your goal. If the goal is not challenging enough it limits our ability to expand our skills and capabilities (comfort zone). On the flip side, if the goal is too challenging we can panic, feel overwhelmed, and thus, lose motivation (panic zone).
FIX: Find the right level of challenge.
Effective goals should place us right in the Growth Zone where we feel stretched but also competent to take on the challenge. Dr. Jacinta M. Jimenez provides the Stretch Goal Planning Barometer as a tool for finding the sweet spot in her book The Burnout Fix. As a visual person who also likes numbers I love using this with my clients who are setting goals and creating experiments. Ideally, you want your stretch goal to fall between a 4 and 7 in terms of stress/challenge out of 10. If you find you are above or below that range, adjust accordingly.
2 YOU HAVEN’T DONE THE INNER WORK TO SUPPORT SUCCESS
You have a new goal, a new plan, but you haven’t addressed the root cause of what’s ACTUALLY holding you back from success. To achieve life/career goals (outer work) you have to do the inner work to support the change you are seeking. For example, you want to get a promotion but your self-doubt keeps your boss about how you can earn it.
FIX: Invest time in building mental fitness along with reaching your life/career goals.
Working to grow your mental fitness empowers you to effectively navigate any challenges that may throw you off course. Here a few simple tools you can use to build mental fitness
Notice your negative thoughts. Our brains are wired for negativity. On average we think 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts a day. 80% of those are negative and 96% of them are repetitive. Building awareness around your repetitive thoughts allows you choose another response instead of reacting to the thought.
Question your thoughts. YOu are not your thoughts! Often we have are telling ourselves the same self-sabotaging stories that have a lot more to do with assumption and judgement and fact. When you notice a negative thought or an old story ask yourself, “What part of this is true, and what part of this is story?”
Flip the script. When you notice a negative thought, replace it with a more positive one. For example, replace I am I am a failure with I am learning and growing. Replace I sound so stupid with I am proud of myself for speaking up.
3 YOU’re focused on the goal, not the process to get there
Habits are the system/process by which we accomplish our goals. Goals are just a guidepost illuminating our path. As James Clear says in his book, Atomic Habits, “If you want better results, then forget about setting goals. Focus on your system instead.” We are more motivated when we get things done so let’s make it EASY!
FIX: Turn goals into habits that reflect the person you want to become
The research on goals is clear: small consistent actions beat large actions that don’t get done. The rule of thumb is to have new habits take no longer than 2 minutes. Once you have established consistency at that level you add more time you increase in small increments until you reach the desired amount. Here are some examples of how you can turn big goals into easy habits:
4 the goal does not reflect your definition of success
Society would have you think there is one definition of success: make a lot of money, have nice things, rise in status blah, blah, blah. While some of these things might resonate, others may not fit at all for you. If your goal is based on something you feel you SHOULD do vs. something you truly DESIRE, it is not meaningful and therefore you will not be motivated to achieve it.
FIX: Align your goal to your WHY
The truth is we all have our own definition of success that is based on what is important to us (values) and what makes us come alive (fulfillment). Use the following questions to connect to your why and assess how your goals align to it:
Why is this goal important to me?
What will it give me to achieve it?
How does this goal honor my values, strengths and passions?
5 you said yes to more without saying no to make room
We can often get caught up in the excitement of goal setting and feel like we want to take on everything all at once. Not only can this make you feel overwhelmed, it can also lead to burnout, making it impossible to meet all of your goals. When we are learning a new skill or implementing a new habit - it requires more time, energy and cognitive resources. To be successful, we need to curate our goals AND set boundaries to protect our resources.
FIX: Keep it simple by starting small
Use the following reflection exercise to review your current goals and look for ways you can simplify and ensure you have enough resources to be successful.
Review your the goal and commitments you set. Reflect: does all of this look reasonable? How confident are you that you will be successful in meeting all of them? Check in with your energy: are you excited looking at your list or overwhelmed?
What can you say no to? Are there places you can prioritize or simplify? What are the most important goals for you to keep?
What new boundaries do you need to set? To stay on track with new goals and habits we often have to set new boundaries with ourselves and others. What boundaries will keep you on track?
How can you create simple daily habits, routines, and rituals to support your goals?
Looking for more goal setting support?
Check out my Life Design Intensive! In this 90-minute session, we focus on giving you more clarity, balance, and fulfillment in your life and career. You get a workbook, visualization recording and a mini-training to help you get the most out of our time together. I created this offer as a way to meaningfully create change that you can implement right away!